Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
