I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
