Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
