So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
