Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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