I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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