there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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