you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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