That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
