I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
