I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
