I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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