guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
