do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
