Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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