Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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