Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
