I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
