Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
