is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
