sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
