I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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