I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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