I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
