yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
