Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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