Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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