you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
