it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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