And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
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