It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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