This girl is more easily done than said...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
