I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
