her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
