I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
