You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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