I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
