I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
