in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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