At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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