Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
