they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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