im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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