Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
