I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
