honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Randomize
