All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
