You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
