Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
