I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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