it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
