turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
