fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
