no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my being single is dangerous.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
