Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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