And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm too high and old for this...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
