It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
