There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
