Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
