I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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