The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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