I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You can't special order awesome
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
