drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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