I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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