the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
