sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
